And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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