If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
