Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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