You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
