i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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