you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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