'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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