My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
my poor anus
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
