Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
