I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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