Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
