You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
