Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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