he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
