its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
