Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
