this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
