I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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