im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You can't motorboat a personality
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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