I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
