There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
