And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
