But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
