Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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