I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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