Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
i now understand why vodka
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
