I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
