He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
