i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
