I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
