can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
