Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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