people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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