so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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