do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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