spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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