Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
So vagazzling was a success
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
