It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
