Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
That's intense
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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