I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
