Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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