we're chasing vodka with high fives
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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