I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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