My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
