God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
