if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize