On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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