): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize