I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
