he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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