I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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