Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
