the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
