Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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