the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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