It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
