The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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