no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
