my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There r osticjed everywhere
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
