i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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