Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I want to be your penis for a week.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
