We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
